God Is Still Good

Even though I did not get much of a break from the cancer madness I am thankful for the two months I did get to enjoy the sun and the garden and the beach and my family. I relapsed at the end of July and since then have gotten gradually more ill reaching my lowest point about two weeks ago. I have felt so badly that I did not even have the energy to update. In spite of that, God has found ways to remind people to keep praying and they let me know and it is one of the ways I know that He is there looking out for me. I have been pretty much stuck in my bedroom but I can tell you that I know He is working for me, that He is close to me and that He speaks peace and joy to me through His word. I also know He understands my laments over my situation because one morning I asked what Psalm I should read that day and I heard 88 clear as a bell. Look it up if you want to see what my mood was like that day. (He knew!) He keeps giving me the word "Hope" in his word, through friends, and even on a wreath a friend gave to me. My hope is in Him.

This time I had many gastrointestinal symptoms from the cancer. It resulted in severe nausea, dehydration, being unable to eat, weight loss and weakness. I had genetic testing for a gene mutation which could have altered my treatment plan but I did not have the mutation. I do not qualify for any current clinical trials so that means my treatment options are limited. I began treatment (combination of Doxil and Avastin) the end of September and did not react well because of my already weakened state. This week we talked over all my issues and came up with a plan whereby I am taking certain meds and getting IV fluids twice a week and I have seen tiny improvements each day. Yesterday I began to feel restless being stuck in my bed and that I take to be a good sign. I moved to the sunny guest room for awhile to change my scenery.

Please pray that I will be able to eat without pain and that I will get a little stronger every day. Pray for the next treatment with the Doxil on October 18th. I did not have a good experience last time but I do not want to live in fear. Pray the cancer cells die...every last one of them! I know I am not fighting this battle alone but God and you are fighting for me.

#ovariancancer #cancersurvivor #faithandspirituality