A Place of Safety

Where do you run when you want to feel safe? When you feel the need to be protected, where do you go? Right now the place I feel most safe is my nice bedroom in my own home under my big fluffy comforter. I have been reading the Psalms a lot lately and was struck with how many times God Himself is mentioned as a refuge, a shelter, a fortress, a shield, a strong tower, a hiding place.... in other words, He is a place of safety. I decided to go through and note when God is mentioned like this in the Psalms. It is interesting to me that there is a contrast. Sometimes the safe place is hard like stone, impenetrable like the castles or towers people under siege in long ago times would run to for safety. Sometimes the safe place is soft like the feathers under the wings of a bird or like the everlasting arms. Both of these word pictures describe God as a place of safety. The only true place of safety for us. Psalm 91 shows both sides of this when it states: "...I will say of the LORD, " He is my refuge and my fortress; my God, in Him will I trust." ... He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will take refuge; His truth will be your shield and buckler." So, as nice as my cozy room is, when I want to be in a true place of safety, I run to the LORD. How about you?

I have been running to the LORD a lot these past few weeks. Sometimes my prayers consist only of, "Help, help, help!" or "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I had the second monthly treatment with Doxil on the 18th. The after affects were nowhere near as bad as the first time but they were bad. It is a harsh drug. It attacks the digestive system while it is attacking the cancer (which was already attacking my digestive system) and it takes away appetite. This makes it very difficult to maintain weight or regain strength. The fatigue is dreadful. Nevertheless, I have seen small improvements in my condition as the days go by for which I am thankful. The nausea and dehydration are pretty much under control and I am able to move about the house a little more. My doctor is encouraged by my blood counts and that the cancer marker is once again going down. The plan right now is to have two more infusions of the Doxil and five more of Avastin and then do a scan to see what shows up.

Please pray that I will be able to tolerate the drugs and that they will kill the cancer. Pray that I will continue to be able to eat and gain strength. Pray for Greg and Charis who are working so hard as my caregivers. Greg has had to take on all the household chores including laundry, shopping and cooking while working full time and looking after me. He sees me at my worst and it is hard for him. Charis helps with shopping, cleaning and cooking as well as transport to the cancer center while taking care of her own house and family.

#cancersurvivor #ovariancancer #faithandspirituality