It Is Well With My Soul

Early on in my cancer journey my pastor asked how I was and I replied that I was well in the ways that mattered. Perhaps some of you have heard the story behind the beloved hymn I used for my title. I share it for those who have not. Horatio G. Spafford wrote it in 1873. He had already lost his son to a childhood illness and much of his fortune because of the Great Chicago Fire. He sent his wife and four daughters ahead of himself to Europe by ship and the ship sank after colliding with another vessel. His wife sent a telegram that stated simply, "Saved alone." Mr. Spafford is said to have penned the words to the hymn when passing over the spot in the ocean where the vessel sank. He and his wife were to have three more children, a son and two daughters. Again the boy was lost to a childhood illness. The reaction of their church was to name them punished by God. They disagreed. Here are the words to the hymn.

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way, When sorrows like sea billows roll; Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, It is well, it is well with my soul. Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come, Let this blest assurance control, That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate, And hath shed His own blood for my soul. My sin—oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!— My sin, not in part but the whole, Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more, Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul! For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live: If Jordan above me shall roll, No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul. But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait, The sky, not the grave, is our goal; Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord! Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul! And Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight, The clouds be rolled back as a scroll; The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend, Even so, it is well with my soul. The words to this hymn are so meaningful and Biblical. Like Horatio Spafford and his wife and countless others I choose to say that no matter what happens to me, I will be OK because it is well with my soul. Although I am going through a difficult battle that may never be over, I am well in the ways that count. So, don't you dislike it when things are vague? Personally, I would rather they be spelled out clearly so there is no doubt but that is not always the case. I finished my chemotherapy on May 26. Because my cancer indicator (CA 125) was still significantly above normal range, the doctor decided to wait a month and then have a CT Scan, blood work, and a followup appointment. I had the scan Monday, June 27th and the appointment was Thursday, June 30th. Even though I was determined to be OK with whatever the news was, it did not prevent me from feeling afraid or anxious. Thankfully, the knowledge that God is good and that many people were praying for me got me through this latest ordeal. The good news is that the scan showed NO signs of cancer. The doctor was a little baffled as to why the CA 125 was still high. However, he did not have the results of the most recent blood work in front of him. I won't be able to see it until the 6th or 7th when they post it on my portal. In spite of that, the doctor decided it was fine for me to wait four months, have another CT scan and blood work and then he will see me again. I am very thankful for this. It is a normal follow up time period. I can spend the rest of the summer getting healthier and stronger. As my brother pointed out, the uncertainty is a good thing because it keeps us on guard. We have to take precautions when it comes to diet and supplements in order to keep the cancer away. So, although we do not know what the future holds, for now we have ZERO.  This is the shirt I wore to my appointment. Teal is the color for ovarian cancer awareness. #cancersurvivor #ovariancancer #faithandspirituality